I met with a client recently that has been divorced for 20 years with little love life to speak of since. Still pained by her past, this wildly successful professional woman was seriously deliberating whether she should give up on love, voicing contradictory desires and fears. But I took her meeting with me, despite serious trepidation, to mean that deep down she wants love more. (grin)
So what obstructs love in the present?
Unresolved past relationships. Just as physical pain alerts us to a physical injury, emotional pain alerts us to an emotional wound. And its purpose is to grow you. The fastest way to heal is to move through your painful feelings. The only reason emotional pain lingers is because there's an impending lesson the Universe wants you to get so you show up differently next go 'round. That's it. Once you take the lesson, the pain will be but a mere memory and your parting gift, emotional availability--that irresistible quality that magnetizes suitors. Once you clear up your past remember that, like all things in life, your dreams will be actualized outside your comfort zone. So get a little uncomfortable in hot pursuit of your dreams.
And remember this...
Abandoning your desire for love is settling. (Never settle for less than what makes you feel alive.) Whatever you most want, the Universe wants you to have. If you want to be married, the Universe wants it for you too. That being said, often Life has a different path or partner in mind. (Ever had the gift of hindsight and thanked your lucky stars it didn't work out with an ex?)
Trust in the wisdom and timing of Life.
Should you find yourself struggling to let go of the past, lean into the pain of your unresolved feelings and ask yourself the following to resolve your past and make room for your sweet future:
What did I learn from my past relationships? (Jot down all things positive and negative.)
Get still and ask the pain, what are you here to teach me? (Listen for the answer.)
What can I do differently in my next relationship?