Many a partner looks great on paper (or our arm) but doesn't make us feel the way we want to feel--a great lover who doesn't translate to a great life partner or the ever-elusive partner who doesn't offer us what we want long-term. Perhaps we're fresh off a break-up and don't want something serious, or maybe we're far into a relationship we can't see getting to the next level. Typically this is when we're cautioned 'not to settle.'
The Upside to Settling
The upside to settling? It doesn't require us to commit or be alone. Many serial monogamists ironically are 'chronic settlers.' They fear commitment, despite having deep desires to marry. Frequently partnering, yet rarely committing to marriage. They are comfortable with commitment only to a limited degree. And so they date Mr/Ms Right Now--someone they're into enough to continue seeing, but not a close enough match to lock it down for a lifetime--delaying one's joy and dreams another day, month, or year. The opportunity cost is huge.
So here's the good news...
Settling will be a pattern of the past when you decide to only date real long-term possibilities in the present. Trust your gut and take action. Find a way to get comfortable being solo and commit to finding the One (not just the next one). Those committed to finding the One only date mates that meet their criteria and dating objective. No one in the cue? Grab a friend and hit up an event where you might meet someone. Or pursue a passion. Or spend some time alone. Having no social plans for the weekend does not warrant calling an old flame to rescue you from loneliness. Make space for Mr/Ms Right and the Universe will take notice.
Aim for what you really want and accept nothing less--and soon you will manifest it--because you deserve to have E V E R Y T H I N G your heart desires.